I'm doing well…really

by Larry Ohlhauser

Cam missed the rear bumper of the car in front of him by inches. He now had coffee spilled down the front of his shirt and tie. Swearing, he grabbed for napkins and tried to blot the spill. The patterned tie would hide the stain well enough, but as for the shirt? He’d be stuck in his jacket all day. The light turned green. He accelerated and reached for the doughnut on the passenger seat beside him. He was still reeling from the argument he’d had that morning with Susan, his wife, half-dressed and half-awake in their walk-in closet. She was after him about making an appointment with their financial advisor, about their daughter’s recent odd behaviour, and about whose turn it was to drive their son to hockey practice the next morning. So much for TGIF. It was budget crunch time at work and reports were due from all department heads that Monday. It was going to be another long day at the office. He was ticked at Susan for choosing what seemed to be the worst times to discuss these things. Although, what would be a good time? Neither of them seemed to be home long enough to eat or sleep, let alone have a civilized conversation.

After another 10 minutes fighting through traffic, Cam pulled into his parking spot, then began the elevator ride to the eighth floor. At ground level, Kresha from HR stepped on in her business suit and Nikes, gym bag in hand. She flashed Cam a bright (loathsome!) smile. “How are you doing today, Cam?” she asked, innocently. Cam felt indicted by the warm greeting. He was obviously feeling less than cheerful. But he pasted on his well-rehearsed office smile and replied. “I’m doing well, thanks. Doing well.” Big fat liar, he thought, and braced himself for the rest of the day.

How many of us are doing well…really? What does that mean anyway? Modern science, public policy and economic growth have ushered in technologies, regulations and investment opportunities all designed to help us live longer, stronger, better and richer. But are we living well? It often seems that we’re forced to pick and choose where we’ll flourish, if at all, among wealth, health, love and other (apparent) ideals. We believe we have to sacrifice one good thing to have another, or live mediocre lives across the board.

But can we move these ideal notions into practical applications? What if wellness is a function of the interdependence of all of these areas, and not an exclusive choice of any one? Intuitively, we know that our bodies, minds and emotions are interconnected. Stress keeps us awake or gives us tension headaches. Sleep deprivation makes us irritable. And symptoms of illness, whether physical or psychological, show up at work and at home.

How can we create some balance? It is possible to live better, whether we need to make wholesale changes to our lifestyle or just tweak a few finer details. Here are some ideas to help you move toward greater overall wellness.

§     Take stock: Pay attention to what your body, your emotions and those around you are telling you. An honest, practical self-assessment can be very enlightening. Examine your physical wellness habits: diet, exercise, sleep patterns, substance use, for example. Are there overt signs of trouble, like chronic pain, sleep disturbance, racing heart rate or overweight? Investigate your emotional/relational health, too. What is the current state of your relationships? How do you deal with conflict? Are there certain people or social situations you avoid routinely? What would those closest to you identify as your personal strengths and weaknesses? Get honest feedback from people you trust.
§     Take advice: Enlist professional help where it makes sense to do so. Your doctor is an obvious first resource. But don’t overlook the possible benefits of counselling, therapy, communication courses, assertiveness training or other emotional and psychological aids.
§     Take action: Goal-setting paradigms have been preached to executives for years. And they work, if they’re actually used. It’s one thing to identify specific physical or relational areas you might improve. It’s one step better to set strategic, realistic goals to help reach those objectives. But the best goals are useless unless they’re implemented.
§     Take it easy: This sounds like a contradiction to taking action, but it’s not. Energy is used and restored cyclically. Without proper rest, times of solitude and personal restoration, we run on fumes, not fuel. We might be able to go hard for a while, but eventually we’ll burn out.
§     Take two (or three!): One of the best ways to turn plans into action is to enlist the support of others. The accountability and encouragement available when a friend or colleague buys into what you’re trying to do can make all the difference. You might find others who want to join you in some of your action steps – partnering together in a proven weight-loss program, starting an office lunch-hour walking group or arranging an emotional intelligence workshop for your management team. Even having someone to report to or to help cheer you on can help keep you on track. You’re much more likely to give up if you’re the only one who will bear any consequences.
§     Take heart: Don’t be discouraged by setbacks. They’re inevitable. Change of any kind, but especially personal lifestyle changes, won’t be easy. Value perseverance over perfection.
§     Take pride: Celebrate even the small victories. Set benchmarks for your progress – 30 days cigarette-free, 10 pounds lost, six sessions of marriage counselling – and build in rewards to mark meeting them. The rewards can be as simple as a new purchase or a round of golf, or as elaborate as a European getaway. You decide. Choose rewards that will motivate you.
§     Take charge: This is your life. Sometimes the idea that we should be in charge creates an overwhelming sense of responsibility. It’s true that our choices define our success or failure. Yet, we could live fuller, richer lives – we could truly live well – if we saw those choices as opportunities rather than obligations. What do you want your life to look like? What’s stopping you from having it? Don’t just manage your life. Lead it.

So, how are you doing today? Are you well? At work or at play, take every opportunity to live the best life possible, inside and out.


Dr. Larry Ohlhauser is a business and healthcare consultant, public speaker, wellness advocate and author of The Healthy CEO: Taking the lead in your physical, relational and financial wellness (www.thehealthyceo.com).