Conflict Coaching:
A journey of reflection, correction and continuous learning

by Paul Lennox

Alternative dispute resolution (ADR) is increasingly used to resolve formal conflict complaints. But its real strength is earlier in the process, turning conflict into productivity. The Public Service Modernization Act requires federal departments to implement an informal conflict management system. Leadership, infrastructure, skills and tools will be put in place to manage the different faces of conflict, and introduce solutions at the earliest stages. Many provincial and municipal governments are introducing conflict resolution processes as well.

There is a need for a more systems approach to constructively working together to deliver complex and demanding objectives, all the while building a healthier workplace. That is not to suggest that conflict is bad and should be eliminated. In fact, challenging the status quo, building a creative and innovative work environment, requires conflict be a partner. But poorly managed conflict often begins innocently and, if not properly identified and resolved, can escalate to levels that can result in an unhealthy workplace, destroy careers or de-rail important initiatives.

Public service managers are being asked to lead and deliver on near-impossible agendas. Not being given the time and/or resources needed is not new. However, now it is all too often accompanied by an operational climate that is lacking in appreciation, trust and respect. These dynamics add tension and stress to a system already crowded with conflicting demands, conflicting timetables, conflicting agendas and conflicted relationships. The strain on most managers is obvious, and part of the tension is not having the support and tools required for success. It is difficult to be motivated, and motivate others, when you feel set up for failure. Those familiar with the principles of the ‘balanced scorecard’ appreciate that there is a direct correlation between employee satisfaction and client/customer satisfaction. If the government wishes civil servants to have a citizen-centred service mindset, then it needs to invest in training and developing its leaders at all levels to ensure they have the conflict management competencies that help create an environment where employees feel safe and motivated to perform.

CAREER AT A CROSSROAD
Jane was an ambitious executive who had been promoted quickly and was now a Director General. While everyone respected Jane on a personal level, as DG she came across as a bully, someone who used her intellect not only to ‘win’ her position but also to embarrass a colleague or subordinate in the process. While her considerable strengths had gotten her this far, her style was now creating problems and issues with peers and superiors. Her ADM was beginning to resent that she now had to manage the fallout, and was re-evaluating her assessment of Jane as a top performer. Jane picked up on the mixed signals. Being proactive, she retained a coach to retrieve and deliver the tough messages. Constructive feedback, based on data from a 360º feedback process, clearly identified that there were perceptions that didn’t align with Jane’s intentions or values. Now aware and accepting of the need to change, Jane changed her behaviour so that she now anticipates, prepares and positively manages her interactions with others. She has put the necessary feedback mechanisms in place so that she can adjust her behaviour when her impact is not constructive. As anticipated, those that now work with Jane are more participative, productive, and having more fun – and Jane’s career is back on track.

Leaders must now expand their skills to anticipate and proactively address the seeds of potential conflict at much earlier stages. The ability to manage existing conflict is a valued competence, but it is not enough. There is a growing expectation that managers and executives build a guiding coalition of employees that are committed to a healthier and more productive workplace. Workplace demands are expanding and more complex, and these dynamics now put a premium on teamwork. Yet stovepipe management, and making decisions from a silo perspective, continues to be the preferred operating style. These behaviours can result in inconsistent application of standards, and inconsistent HR and financial management practices within a branch. This results in tension and conflict within the workplace that could be avoided. The harsh reality is that managers are so stretched in trying to cope with the issue or crisis of the day, that they have little or no time to lead and develop their team.

Developing teamwork requires time and commitment but the returns can be significant. Through the introduction of conflict coaching and ‘action learning’ principles, a team can make great strides to improved performance. Healthy conflict is encouraged and each team member commits to provide and receive constructive feedback on how to improve individual and team performance. Developing the competencies of a conflict coach creates individual and team confidence to have difficult conversations, so that performance continues to align to shifting expectations.

LOSS OF MOTIVATION
Jean was seen by his superiors as the kind of results-oriented high flyer you wanted managing tough files. However, as he became more senior he shared less with his direct reports and staff. Subordinates felt they were no longer trusted and began to suspect that restructuring or downsizing was in the works. Rumours were rampant, staff worried for their jobs, and productivity dropped significantly. Jean sensed there were issues but no one was willing to put the concerns on the table. Wanting to get to the bottom of the problem, he brought in a conflict coach he had worked with before. Individual confidential interviews surfaced the concerns. Through conflict coaching sessions, Jean’s direct reports saw that their best option was to approach their boss and get all the issues on the table. The conflict coach worked with each subordinate to develop the language and confidence to have what they felt would be a difficult conversation. And she worked with Jean to build the skills to be receptive to these conversations. Jean appreciated their frankness and willingness to come forward. While the exchange was not easy, there were no unpleasant surprises. In fact jobs were secure, and there were no significant changes anticipated. The harsh reality was that Jean had been so overwhelmed with demands from his superior he no longer took the time to properly communicate direction and provide much needed leadership. With conflict coaching, the work unit developed the confidence and competence to have difficult conversations in a timely manner. With heightened awareness of the impact of poor communication, Jean and his direct reports committed to open, transparent, and timely information sharing and feedback processes. This shift in behaviour has resulted in less stress and a lot more enthusiasm for improving performance.

WHAT IS CONFLICT COACHING?
Several management tools can contribute to high performing teams. Executive coaching, team building, leadership development, coaching on providing constructive feedback and having difficult discussions, training in alternative dispute resolution (ADR), supporting teams that embrace action learning, all are interventions that build capacity to anticipate and positively respond to conflict in the workplace.

Conflict coaching is a relatively new approach that works well in an environment that is in constant flux, and where strong personalities and opinions are the order of the day. Rather than having interventions made by consultants and trainers, ‘conflict coaching’ is a client-driven service that embraces the discipline and practice of a professional coach, draws on the rich principles of ADR, and borrows from such practices and competencies as Emotional Intelligence, Action Learning and Appreciative Inquiry. The goal is to leave the individual(s) and/or team with the skills and tools to create and maintain a well-managed environment where positive conflict is embraced, and results in an increased capacity to perform.

Whether working with an individual or team, the focus of a conflict coach is to enhance capacity to identify and anticipate conflict, and develop skills to creatively and constructively respond, rather than to deal with individual instances of conflict. Unfortunately, too many see conflict coaching as simply providing disputants with skills to communicate more effectively during the various stages of a dispute resolution.

While developing such skills is certainly beneficial, it does not go far enough. The real opportunity is to understand the dynamics of conflict from a systems perspective and develop the competencies and commitment required at the individual, team and organizational level that facilitate delivery of team and/or corporate objectives. Some of the areas often explored:
• understanding the different faces of conflict
• looking at issues from a systems perspective – double-loop learning
• building capacity to anticipate and prevent
• identifying and managing emotion and conflict in the persuasion model
• understanding the role of culture, diversity
• examining possibilities
• appreciating the dynamics of constructive feedback/difficult discussions
• recognizing that different thinking styles requiredifferent responses.

LOOK FOR A PARTNERSHIP
A healthy conflict coaching experience is a partnership that is interactive, collaborative and developmental, built on mutual respect and trust, which results in long-term excellence in performance. Key components include:
1. A successful partnership composed primarily of one-on-one interactions between a professional coach and an executive that is supported, as needed, by others.
2. Agreed-upon ground rules, time frames and specific goals and measures of success.
3. The use of tailored goals and approaches.
4. A process that includes:
• pre-coaching needs assessment, analysis and planning
• data gathering
• goal setting
• conflict coaching
• measuring and reporting results
• transitioning to long-term performance excellence through self-awareness, self-correction, and continuous learning.
5. Among others, the following practices:
• observing while in action
• conversations to discover possibilities
• learning through inquiry and practice
• changing more consciously and in alignment with purpose, values, and commitments
• clarification of roles, assumptions and priorities.
6. Identification and leveraging of the executive’s strengths.
7. Creation of a safe environment in which the executive can feel comfortable taking the risks necessary to learn and develop.

SUSTAINABLE CHANGE
Whether using an internal or external conflict coach, the key output of any engagement is that the individual and/or team develop the competencies to independently build a more positive and productive work environment. The model is not to build a workplace without conflict but rather that negative impact is anticipated, prevented or constructively managed. For this kind of change to be sustained, the process must align with the manager’s values and intent. Key competencies to be developed are:
• Self-awareness – the ability to reflect before, during, and after all engagements with others.
• Self-correction – the ability to recognize when behaviour is inconsistent with intentions, and the commitment to adjust in order to re-align. The ability to reflect builds the capacity to continuously self-correct.
• Continuous learning – recognition of the need to constantly improve and put the necessary mechanisms in place to support that mindset.

LEADERSHIP
There is no room for leadership that is intimidating, causes low morale, increased levels of stress leave and absenteeism, cascading of improper behaviour, and change that is at best temporary because style and process did not obtain the necessary buy-in. One of the skills of a true leader is to stimulate, energize, enthuse and motivate others to attain the desired objective or future state. Tough decisions must still be made, and at times they will have a negative impact, but the implementation can be managed much more constructively.

Conflict is integral to any healthy organization. The challenge is to create an environment of positive conflict that gets things done. Well-managed conflict is within the grasp of any leader who is committed to building a healthy workplace. Working with a coach is often a very personal experience and it is important to choose one who has the experience and competencies to meet your needs and expectations, and has a style you appreciate.



Paul Lennox, MBA, LL.B, is an associate of MDR Associates Conflict Resolution Inc. He has coached executives for over 15 years in the field of conflict management and leadership development (www.mdrassociates.ca).